You Cannot Go Back...

I had a striking realization today. As I walked along the Riverwalk trail pushing a stroller and thinking about how I used to walk along this trail eight years ago. Then, I was pushing my now nine-year-old son when I was trying to lose that baby weight. As I walked along today, it hit me: I am not the same woman that I was then.
I'm also not the same woman I was when I trained for a sprint triathlon after having baby #2 in an attempt to lose that baby weight.
And I'm really not the diet and exercise obsessed woman that got down to 137lbs. after I had my third child.
First of all, in all three of those cases, I didn't really begin to work off the baby weight until the baby was about a year old.
Second, I had a lot fewer kids and responsibilities.
Third, I knew a lot less about food, nutrition, but mostly about how to be in balance in my life.
With each other child I suffered from moderate (to occasionally severe) post-partum depression.
This time is different.
I am different.
I can't go back to who I was then. Nor would I want to.
It's time to reinvent my relationship to food and exercise. I have to do it in a more balanced way.
Actually, I think I was the closest to getting it right when I only had one child. I tried to eat a balanced diet and I walked outside every day. But mostly, I tried to follow the Spirit in helping me overcome my weakness with food.
But, as I said, I am still a different person than I was then and not everything I did then will work now.
I have decided to make this a more spiritual journey. I can't do it on my own. And weakness is given to us so that we will seek for help from God.
So, I started a sugar fast yesterday for a week. Since I'm nursing and can't do a regular fast. So I'm not eating sugar this week to help me get refocused. And I'm trying to use more vegetables in my diet.
I want to live a balanced life and eat a balanced diet. I want to feel good and feel healthy. I want to eat foods that give me strength.
I want to treat my body like the temple it is and live in integrity with what I know is right in this particular area of my life so that I can be at peace with myself.
I want my body to support me in all the things I want to do in my life.
I want to move forward and become the healthiest me ever!