Small Changes...

Got a grilled chicken sandwich today from JITB instead of a cheeseburger and skipped the fries. Not a big change, but the change was that I thought about what I was going to eat a little bit.
My treadmill now has a home again and I just need to install the outlet and I can plug it in and have a walk. Hopefully by Friday.
I'll get there.

Nothing Amazing

It's been forever since I've posted anything. And to be honest, I'm not doing anything right now. Not counting calories, not exercising, not lifting weights.
But something is changing even though you can't see it. My mind.
I feel a turning of the tide. I'm getting to the point where the fat isn't okay with me anymore. I want to see something change. I want to start taking better care of myself and being mindful about what I put in my mouth.
My motto these last few months as I've given in to the busyness of life and the reality of raising a baby and three other kids has been "I'll get there. I'll get there."
Well, I think I'm almost ready to start trying again. I'm already starting to think a little more about what I'm eating. Trying to do something besides snack all evening. Trying to find other ways to cope with stress than with a handful of chocolate chips.
Yep, I'll get there. Maybe sooner rather than later...

10 down...

Okay, I realize the scale says 172 and not 171 like it should if I really lost 10 lbs. But, I was holding the camera. My camera with the big telephoto lense, not my little pocket camera (it was out of batteries). But you will just have to take my word for it that the scale said 170.8 before I got the camera.

Yay for me! I will be posting another picture of myself soon too, so there's more than the hideous 'before' pic on here.

What's working:

1) Eating lowfat foods that are filling (berries, yogurt, even a few veggies like carrots and green beans)

2) Keeping track of what I eat on the WW e-tools

3) Knowing that I have to weigh in once a week at the meeting

4) Walking on the treadmill in the morning before Matthew leaves for work

What needs work:

1) Still need to embrace more veggies

2) Need more lowfat recipes that my kids will eat

3) Going to have to give up points gradually as my nursing decreases (which means less eating- help!)

Top Ten Reasons Dieting with Weight Watchers Rocks!

I did it! I joined Weight Watchers! Based on my first week of using their program, here's why I think Weight Watchers is better than my solo dieting attempts.

1. I get to brag about my accomplishments and people clap for me
2. They have tons of recipes online that are easy to make
3. I get to weigh in once a week at the meeting- automatic accountability
4. The online point tracker makes it super easy to keep track of what I eat
5. There are lots of 0 and 1 point foods so if I want to eat- I can! No more starving!
6. I get extra points (as in I get to eat more) when I exercise- cha-ching!
7. I get to be inspired by other people's successes
8. There are extra points each week that I can use for special occassions, so there's no reason to go off the program
9. I really feel like I can stick with this
10. I've already lost a pound

I'm Trying to Like My Veggies...

Haven't joined Weight Watchers yet. But I have been exercising.
The scale said 175.8 today. That's the least it has said since I got home from the hospital- so progress is being made, though slowly! I have officially lost 5 pounds. Woohoo!
I am now trying to learn to like vegetables. I know I need to make them the main part of what I eat. Besides the fact that they'll help me maintain a healthy weight, chowing down on the veggies will also help prevent disease.
The older I get and the more people I see struggle with health issues, the more it motivates me to embrace a more healthy lifestyle. Of course there are many things out of our control, but I'd really like to not have a lot of regret in this department. I'd like to say that I took the best care of my temple that I could. That healthy lifestyle probably doesn't include mass quantities of chocolate and ice cream.
If I loved vegetables, I could eat them all the time and I wouldn't have to worry about how much. I was reading about people who eat like 9 servings of vegetables a day. They're super healthy! I can't even imagine eating 9 servings of vegetables a day. I'm not sure I can even think of 9 vegetables that I'm willing to eat.
So, I'll try to get the schedule worked out this week to join Weight Watchers like I planned and maybe they can teach me to like vegetables. Or at least I can get some recipes to help me disguise the flavor.

Still fasting...

My sugar fast is going pretty well. Last night I was kinda feeling the pain as we went to a wedding reception with mostly just desserts. Really good ones too like cheesecake and something that looked very rich and chocolatey. But then we went to Fatburger for dinner. :)
So, the sugar fast thing isn't really making me eat fewer calories necessarily. But sometimes I think it does. Mostly because I tend to eat sweet things even when I'm full. I can't really do that with nonsweet things or I just feel gross. And I'm not eating Fatburger everyday.
I was proud of myself for not eating the Mother's Day cookies today either. That would have been an easy one to justify. I gave them to my husband. I find it easier to stick with someting like this when it's for a short amount of time.
I'm not sure exactly what I'm going to do once I end this fast. It has helped me realize that I don't need a treat every single day and that's good. It also has helped me be more mindful about the nutritional value of what I eat. I've been trying to make sure that the things I'm eating have some. I will probably be joining Weight Watchers with my sister this week. I think it might help me to have another way to report my progress and get support. We'll see...

You Cannot Go Back...

I had a striking realization today. As I walked along the Riverwalk trail pushing a stroller and thinking about how I used to walk along this trail eight years ago. Then, I was pushing my now nine-year-old son when I was trying to lose that baby weight. As I walked along today, it hit me: I am not the same woman that I was then.
I'm also not the same woman I was when I trained for a sprint triathlon after having baby #2 in an attempt to lose that baby weight.
And I'm really not the diet and exercise obsessed woman that got down to 137lbs. after I had my third child.
First of all, in all three of those cases, I didn't really begin to work off the baby weight until the baby was about a year old.
Second, I had a lot fewer kids and responsibilities.
Third, I knew a lot less about food, nutrition, but mostly about how to be in balance in my life.
With each other child I suffered from moderate (to occasionally severe) post-partum depression.
This time is different.
I am different.
I can't go back to who I was then. Nor would I want to.
It's time to reinvent my relationship to food and exercise. I have to do it in a more balanced way.
Actually, I think I was the closest to getting it right when I only had one child. I tried to eat a balanced diet and I walked outside every day. But mostly, I tried to follow the Spirit in helping me overcome my weakness with food.
But, as I said, I am still a different person than I was then and not everything I did then will work now.
I have decided to make this a more spiritual journey. I can't do it on my own. And weakness is given to us so that we will seek for help from God.
So, I started a sugar fast yesterday for a week. Since I'm nursing and can't do a regular fast. So I'm not eating sugar this week to help me get refocused. And I'm trying to use more vegetables in my diet.
I want to live a balanced life and eat a balanced diet. I want to feel good and feel healthy. I want to eat foods that give me strength.
I want to treat my body like the temple it is and live in integrity with what I know is right in this particular area of my life so that I can be at peace with myself.
I want my body to support me in all the things I want to do in my life.
I want to move forward and become the healthiest me ever!